I didn’t know how to stop it.

I didn’t know how to stop it.

A #SurvivorStory by Paige

I was 7 years old, almost 8 when it started. We had just moved out of state and my mom met this guy she really liked. It wasn’t too long before he moved in. I don’t remember much, and I’ve struggled for a long time with this.

After he moved in it started, my mom worked nights so it was easy.. at first it started by him wanting me to cuddle up to his chest, and then bending over to pick up things, if I squatted down or pick it up he’d make me do it all over again. He would tell me to go wash his car in snow and told me I HAD to wear a bikini. Then he started to ask for me to lift up my shirt and bra.. I’d be reluctant but he’d remind me he was the adult.

Then he moved on to kissing. Pecks turned into make out sessions then me straddling him while he moved my hips.

Then it moved on to him coming into my room at night, climbing on top of me and touch me and things.

I was never raped so for a long time I didn’t feel like I met the guidelines for sexual abuse. This lasted until I was 12, my mom was engaged to him.

I don’t remember much and I’m pretty sure I dissociated most of the time. I struggle with mental illnesses and not being able to recognize myself in the mirror. I still have PTSD especially when it come to sexual relationships but I’m older now, have a child of my own and still trying to make sense out of this. I feel like I’m going completely insane.

I couldn’t tell anyone, he’d treated me and I was scared for what he’d do, to me, to my mom.

I hate him. I hate him SOOO MUCH. He took everything away from me. IM STILL SUFFERING and I can’t take it anymore.

I told my parents… my father called me a liar, but after some convincing I got them to believe me. No charges were pressed. I went through lie detectors, interviews, and inspections to be told “We don’t have enough evidence”.

Worst part is he had twin daughters a little bit younger than me.

I no longer talk to my father and I think my mom still slightly blames me for what happened.

I want my life back


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